Mutual Separations

Sometimes no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to fix the flaws in your relationship. Deeply held resentments, affairs or simply growing apart can leave you feeling like you have done all that you can. At this point time apart might be needed to get a fresh perspective on the situation and reassess your relationship. Separations are never easy, even when they are mutual, but they can be the best solution to a difficult situation.
Children
Separations are always all the more difficult when there are children involved. When you focus on what is best for them you often push your own needs to the bottom of the list. While, obviously, you need to consider them, you will often find that what is best for you is also best for them. Children are very sensitive to tension in the house and will pick up on any difficulties in your relationship, however discreet you may try to be.It is important that you and your partner sit down together with your children and explain what is happening. Be as honest as you can and answer any questions they may have. Explain that you both still love them and have full roles in their lives but that in order to be happy you need to live apart.
Who Goes Where
When you have shared a home and then separate it can be a contentious issue to decide who gets to stay and who has to move out. It is easy to point the finger of blame and find all the reasons in the world why it should happen your way but this isn’t going to make things run smoothly. As hard as it may be, take a deep breath and try to discuss calmly what should happen. Take a practical look at jobs, income and children to see how you can work it out.Being Alone
After living with someone the thought of being your own can be very nerve wracking. When you have just been through a painful separation your emotions will be running high and a sense of loneliness is likely to set in. Let yourself mourn the loss of the relationship, be indulgent to your feelings and don’t put pressure on yourself to get over it quickly. At the same time, wallowing in self pity is not going to get you anywhere and you need to take control of your life. Make plans to see friends, pamper yourself and take up a new hobby. Fill your time with exciting and interesting pastimes and you will slowly come to terms with your new life and begin to enjoy it.Trying Again
Once you have had time apart to clear your head and see what you really want you may decide that you want to give the relationship another try. Make an attempt to put past problems behind you and start afresh. If you have not already had counselling then it is a good idea to talk through what went wrong and how to move forward. Communicate openly and be clear about what you want to happen and where you want things to go. Take things slowly and enjoy getting to know each other again. Now you have re-discovered your independence don’t be too quick to give it up and go on dates, spend time at each other’s houses and have fun.If your relationship has hit a brick wall and a mutual separation is the only way you can see to fix it then be patient with yourself and your partner. Be honest with your family about what is happening and take time out to reassess your priorities.
Business Energy With a Difference from Purely Energy
Looking for better business energy options? Whether it’s advanced monitoring, new connections, or adjusting capacity, our sponsor Purely Energy can help.
Purely helps businesses secure competitive prices, manage capacity upgrades, and monitor usage with their proprietary software, Purely Insights.
- The Dos and Don'ts of Dating After a Break-up
- Consortium Created to Prevent Divorce Going to Court
- Could Counselling Help Your Relationship?
- Breaking up Late in Life
- Protecting Children Through a Divorce or Break Up
- Moving on After a Relationship Ends
- Going Through a Divorce
- Losing a Partner
- How do I End It?
- Dealing with a Break-Up
- Dealing with a Divorce
- Growing Apart & Changes in Feelings
- Rediscovering Yourself & Being Your Own Person
Re: Is my Ex Entitled to a Percentage of the House?
I bought my house in 2013 on my own with my 2 children. In 2016 i married we remortgaged for 10k so he…
Re: Is my Ex Entitled to a Percentage of the House?
my partner and myself took out a remortgage on a property that i owned, the sum was £46000, of which only…
Re: Is my Ex Entitled to a Percentage of the House?
my partner and I took out a remortgage in January 2020, with her been disabled and unable to work she…
Re: Is my Ex Entitled to a Percentage of the House?
My name is on mortgage I paid a lump sum of £40,000 toward and my gambling ex boyfriend help contribute…
Re: Is my Ex Entitled to a Percentage of the House?
Hi iv been paying my mortgage for 9 yrs on my own . My ex left to be with another women, who he's now…
Re: Is my Ex Entitled to a Percentage of the House?
Hi iv been paying my mortgage for 9 yrs on my own . My ex left to be with another women, who he s now…
Re: Is my Ex Entitled to a Percentage of the House?
I’ve owned my house for 25 years my partner lived with me for the last 21/2 years We split up and now…
Re: Is my Ex Entitled to a Percentage of the House?
I left my husband 10 years ago got a divorce in October 2019 didn’t want anything from him the house was…
Re: Can Husband Force Me to Sell Our Home?
Married for10 years, have 3 kids & suddenly fell in to this deep hole. A few months ago I had an argument with my…
Re: Dealing with a Divorce
My husband and i have seperated and he moved out of the marital home one year ago. He is very bitter. We have two children aged 9 and 12…